First blog post

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Remember me

Do not forget me as i am not present.

My mind is foggy but my heart is clear.

Do not criticize my imperfections.

If only I could choose to remember even the simplest of tasks.

Do not resent my frequent repetitive questions.

I am scared and confused.

Your answers slip from my desperate grasp.

Do not stop loving me because my actions are inappropriate.

Use patience and kindness to remind me of my manners for they have

disappeared with other fragments of my mind.

Do not resent my frequent pacing or attempts to “go home”.

This is not my home, nothing here is familiar or reassuring.

If only I could go home, I would surely find my memories there.

Do not remind me of my recent hurts.

I do not recall that my mate has passed or my house burned to the ground.

Do not speak to me as a child.

I have a lifetime of experiences despite my childlike ways.

Remind me of your name and the place you hold in my life.

I would love to recall, for i feel your love and kindness.

Show me the world, nature, music, art,

for I have forgotten the amazing joy it holds.

Allow me to use the tools that remain,

to hammer out my mark and unwrench my heart.

Forgive me for my imperfect past:

If only I remember, I would surely apologize.

You need not fill our time with many words.

Your presence helps fill my void.

Love me for who I am now and the person I used to be.

This was written by AL-hafez in june of 1997, Thank you for letting me borrow this. We all need a little reminding from time to time.

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called The Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies, one that has been especially close to someone ( and ones who have not been close or had no one, to be adopted later), that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water, sunshine and cozy beds, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigor, those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing:

They each miss someone very special, someone who had to be left behind.

They all run together and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His or her bright eyes are intent; their eager body quivers. Suddenly, they break from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carry him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain on your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together.

On June 11, 2018 I lost my 4 legged furry best friend.

He will be forever missed, but has left paw prints on my heart forever just like all the rest. To know he is not in any more pain and yes i Believe in the Rainbow Bridge, it just don’t make it any better.

I feel the need

I know some where on the face of the earth they have care giver day. Well for my own reasons i just need to write a little something to all the care givers out there in the world, because i care.

I found out that in the heavens care givers are considered “Seraphim Angels”.

The highest class of Angels and caretakers to God’s throne. You are so bright and vibrant that others sometimes have a hard time looking at you. You are unique, successful, and highly respected.

with that said most caretakers also have a spirit animal of a “Tiger”.

You are strong and protective of your family. You hesitate around others, but usually warm up to them. You love the darkness, because you feel it is easy to sneak…… The powers of your spirit animal gives you strength and swiftness, as well as night vision.

So i give this to all of you caregivers out there, no matter how you are a care giver. I know it don’t seem like much, but when i read this i got a bit of a up lift from it, i hope you will also.

I have been very Blessed.

Diabetic Retinopathy

I have chosen to write about this today due to it runs in my family. Some of you out there my have it or the same it runs in your family. So this will help you understand Diabetic Retinopathy.

Diabetes can harm blood vessels in the retina, the part of the eye that sends images to your brain. This is called diabetic retinopathy, and it can lead to poor vision and even blindness. You can help prevent of slow diabetic retinopathy by keeping your blood sugar and blood pressure levels in a normal range.

The cause of diabetic retinopathy……High blood sugar harms tiny blood vessels in the retina. The vessels become weak, which allows protein and other substances to come out of them. Small bulges form in the vessels, and these bulges can break open. New, fragile blood vessels grow on the surface of the retina. These abnormal blood vessels may bleed into the eye, clouding vision and forming scars. The longer you have diabetes, the more likely you will later get diabetic retinopathy.

Some symptoms over time, can cause swelling in the retina, called macular edema. It can also cause detached retina. Can also lead to vision loss and blindness. You may not even notice until your eyes are very damaged.

Prevention, going to get your eyes checked every year or every 2 years, according to your eye doctor.

Telling your doctor about any eye changes.

Following a healthy eating plan (GoLo)

Get at least 30 minutes a day of excise.

Take your medicine as prescribed.

Check your blood sugars as your doctor says.

Always follow up with your doctor.

There is no cure for diabetic retinopathy, but treatment may prevent vision loss.

Because you may have no symptoms until you have serious eye damage, it is important to catch it early. The earlier retinopathy is detected, the easier it is to treat and the more likely it is that treatment will help you maintain your vision.

You can talk to your doctor about Laser treatment, surgery and freezing.

Lets all get our eyes checked.

 

Not another list

I wanted to reblog this. I agree totally that your gift to a Caregiver or a family who is Caregiving is your time, if you just want to help out or are a family friend. Helping means so much to those of us .

Sometimes Care Giving Stinks

I know, I know, you try to chill with some time surfing the internet and you are bombarded with the 5 Things You Must Do and the 10 Things You Should Never Do and the 3 Things You Absolutely Must Stop Doing.

So many experts available to overhaul and repair our lives.

Bumped into a list this morning, but it’s good.  It’s not loaded with absolute, must, always, never or any of that arrogance.  Just four good ideas, especially if you’re not a caregiver but care about someone who is.

This one most resonated with me:

Time is the greatest gift. Many caregivers have told me that caregiving locks them into whirlwind daily routines of attending to others’ needs. Above all else, they miss time for themselves — to go to the salon or bank, read a book, clean the house or catch up on sleep. The greatest comfort…

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Help

My thoughts are why won’t they help. Now that my mom has an amputated leg, she can’t stand on the good leg even with help. My mom needs help with everything now, and no i don’t mind thats why i quit my job years ago and went to an agency so i could go through they county and get paid to stay home with my mom, yeah the bills still need paid.

So i talk to the insurance company my mom has and tell them what my needs are. Well it is put to me to try the county and the county lady comes out to see with her own eyes as to what is going on. They both say the other should pay and blame each other and medicare. Just to let you all know to take a shower it is a luxury, wow, say what, yes that is what i was told when i ask for a shower chair. You got to be kidding me.

So now in reality i will have to pay for what my mom needs and then fight the insurance company and the medicare/ county. I have gotten letters from her doctors and pt, ot and i will write one myself, and send to all those involved.

They say they have changed the things with medicare due to people not using the system right, i get that but what about all us people who do need the help, or the equipment. Come on people open your eyes. To have to go through all the red tape or just be forgotten about that you need help.

Lets see no shower, skin starts to break down, you start to stink, and your feelings start to go down hill just because you don’t feel fresh, your quality of life seems to diminish. Yeah, well thanks for caring, and then you tell me you want all people to stay in there homes. Well please tell me how that is possible. Sometimes as a CareGiver and my mom’s daughter i get very upset over all this bull that i have to go through just to get things my mom needs, or choose, food or medical equipment?

I ask for a ceiling lift and yes they are expensive but i need one to get my mom up safely and back and forth to the potty chair or to bed….. well i guess they are just luxuries also.

So yes our medical no matter how you look at it weather it be insurance or medicare are very ass backwards. This is not fair to anyone who needs help, in order to stay in there homes.

I could go on and on about this but that would make me even more mad.

Lets all everyone try to help who we can, so just may be we can make this world just a little bit better. Hopefully the insurance companies and medicare will see what we are doing and just decide they are not doing things right and change. I know it’s a long shot, but we need to do something.

“I need help, please.”

I am rebloging this post, due to i really understand this. I will be doing my own post on what i am going through, and how not right this kind of this is and how common. As the feeling goes I do feel you.

Sometimes Care Giving Stinks

I need help, please was a bit of expressive language that some good teacher or therapist helped our son with autism to use years ago.

For a person like our son, navigating an array of impairments like fine motor and personal care skills, the request is vital for opening a bottle of juice or getting to the bathroom on time.  (Of course he also learned to use it to enlist mom and dad for remedial action; I need help, please could signal a wardrobe change or a bathroom cleanup.)

It’s a sweet phrase in our family life.  It’s entered that volume of cute things the kids used to say, so my wife and I might raise our voice to a childlike tenor and say it if we can’t  find some item around the house.

But it came to mind in a more serious context this week when I asked a…

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Sometimes life is just sad.

I have not been on due to a lot happening in my life right now and trying to adjust to it all. I think i have a handle on everything now, at least i hope i do.

I’m sorry to say that my mom lost her long battle with a diabetic ulcer ( is an open sore or wound that occurs in approximately 15% of people with diabetes and is commonly located on the bottom of the foot. ( My mom’s was on the top of her foot ) of those ulcers, 6% will be hospitalized due to infection or other ulcer-related complication. ) We meaning my mom and i have battled this for about 2 years or so. She started with her heart problem and her legs would swell and then she would get a big blister when the leg would go down. When the blister would break it would leave a creater in her leg.  I have healed many of these for her. When she went for her heart surgery  she had a small one on top of her foot, we just could not hold surgery off any longer. during surgery they opened the bandages on her foot well after that the sore started growing and we battled a few bouts of pseudomonas bacteria, givin antibiotics but did not help which we did not know. Then just reciently i noticed some not so good changes in my moms foot. I did some research and found that if you mix pseudomonas and mersa you get a flesh eating disease. We had some blood work done, was waiting for the results and mom fell during the night. She was ok but later that day she spiked a temp. givin medicine for that. Then she fell again and this time when she did she turned her foot and broke all toes. That just gave the infection just enough to do what it does best , it spread so fast that her fott did not even look like a foot. She went to the hospital right after that fall and the next day she was operated on. They amputated her left leg above the knee. Amputation ( is the removal of a limb by truma, medical illness, or surgery. As a surgical measure, it is used to control pain or a disease process in the affected limb. ) The doctor did above the knee, due to wanting to get all the infection and that my mom with not being able to see and also having tremors she will not walk. Mom is home now is good spirits and doing very well, healing Great.

We are trying to get used to visiting nurses coming in , pt and ot once a week. I also have to help my mom more and trying to get all the right equipment in so mom can live a semi-normal life.

So i think i’m back to blogging and thank you all for your patience in me not blogging so much.

Just be greatful for all you have, life is so precious

I am forever blessed to have my mom in my life.

Keep coming back i will have new content for you soon.

Shingles????

I’m not writing about the shingles on your roof either. Millions of americans suffer with this. Shingles is an itchy, blistering rash caused by herpes zoster, the same viral infection that afflicts the nerve roots and causes chickenpox.

In fact, those who’ve had the chickenpox, can end up with shingles years later, usually after age 50. The infection can live dormant and become active again due to mounting age, lowered immunity. I’ve also heard stress can cause shingles also, no matter what age.

It starts with a rash. The rash at first mimmics psorisis in a way, then turns into little clear bumps with a red rash. Typically in the chest, back, buttocks, or neck. I’ve also seen it on the face and arms. The rash follows a nerve line, usually. It also usually clusters, but in some cases it trails along.

Tingling sensations can happen, it is the nerves. Some people get flu like symptoms. The parts of the body that have the rash get very sensitive to touch. This outbreak can also be very painful. Some people also get nausea, headache, fever, chills. Even eye issues, could mean eye pain, blurriness, light sensitivity, even pink eye. Muscle pain, extreme fatigue.

Just remember if you get any of these symptoms please go see your doctor right away. Some people get very little symptoms and some get a couple of them. There is also a medication you can take before getting shingles and you can also take it after, in hopes you don’t get the shingles.

Of course the lasting duration and how many symptoms is different with each person.